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A helping hand
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#1
02.28.2009
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| A helping hand “A HELPING HAND” Today at President Obama's latest Town Hall Meeting in front of a crowd of thousands Miss Nadya Suleman a single mother of octuplets and six other children stood before the microphone where she told the following heart wrenching story- “Dear Mr President, me and my kids have fallen on hard times. Between the payments on my 2009 Cadillac and the 56 inch plasma TV from RENT-A-CENTER along with the forty boxes of diapers my little ones go though daily and the poor investment I made playing craps at the local casino have taken almost every penny of the $9000 welfare check I receive monthly” “Mr President, my kids and I have been living on nothing but 200 lbs of government cheese, Moon Pies and Old Milwaukee Beer. This sub par diet has caused me to blow up to a weight of 650 lbs making me so large that I can no longer fit through the front door of my government provided house giving us no other choice but to live in my Cadillac. My kids after drinking the cheap beer and cheese all came down with a severe case of irritable bowel syndrome causing them to crap all over the white leather seats of my car making it totally inhabitable. We are now living below a highway underpass in a makeshift tent made from a pair of my size 106xxx panties” “Mr President, It even gets worse... I am now so poor I have to Jerk my dog off to feed my cat! Please! Please! Please Mr President help me!” Visibly moved by the story he had just heard, the President in a compassionate voice told the distraught and emotional mother - “The horrific circumstances you find yourself in are by no fault of your own but are a result of the eight years of the failed policies of George Bush. It is my duty as your President to right this wrong and provide you with the government “helping hand” you and your family so desperately need. I am ordering Vice President Joe Biden to personally escort you to your makeshift home where he will give you that government “helping hand” by jerking the dog off for you and he will remain there Jerking the dog off day and night to the end of my term as President” As the Vice President and Miss Suleman exited the building President Obama turned to the frenzied cheering crowd. The clouds parted and and a golden beam of light shined down upon his face while a flock of white doves circled his head as he began to speak - “I now command each and every one of you to come down here to the stage where you I will perform the laying of hands upon you, curing the sick and healing the lame with socialized health care, give amnesty to illegals, fill the pockets with money of the unmotivated and lazy, give home loans to the undeserving and castrate Republicans”  |
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#2
03.03.2009
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| The real joke here is - Who is getting jerked off more, the dog or(beacause of Obama's false promises, lies, and deceit) we the American People? I guess the joke is on us!!! Last edited by jagloss; 03.03.2009 at 03.18 PM. |
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#3
03.04.2009
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 jag this is a close call.....will Biden ever figure out he is being played too along with the American people?
__________________  LET FREEDOM RING |
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#4
03.04.2009
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| Daisy - I don't think Biden has sobered up long enough to even realize he is Vice Pesident from the stupid statements he keeps making. I think the title of "Jerk Off Czar" would fit him perfectly and would be the first job he has ever held that he is actually qualified for. |
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#5
03.04.2009
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| Quote:
lol you think he (Obama) pourposly picked him so he couldn't outshine him? He is hardly smart enough to make soup from a can let alone be VP
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